After a conversation with Hot Pocket and my therapist, I finally made the decision last night to go to the Hunter Hayes show at the Fox, just to see if Bounder would show.
It was okay. I'd told HP that I expected he wouldn't. But I knew if I didn't go and give it the opportunity that I would never know what happened. I would constantly be rolling around in the What-ifs.
It's over. It's done. It makes me a little sad that I'm unsurprised by his refusal to show--or even his cowardice at not letting me know so I could at least sell the tickets. But I'm honestly okay.
I don't know what's coming next--or who--but I'm ready. I'm ready to just get on with my life without this constant dark cloud chasing me.
So tonight I'm going out with a new friend. It's a second date. And I'm okay with that, too.
Fate has something else in store for me. I probably won't see it coming, and I'll probably flail about when I feel her hot breath on my neck. (She always comes in from behind. She's like that, you know.) But that's okay, too. It'll happen when it happens, and I'll be better able to handle it with one less albatross haunting me.